


31 Christmases with you

by thiccjoffrey



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alternate Universe, Christmas Special, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:15:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27831370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thiccjoffrey/pseuds/thiccjoffrey
Summary: 31 kurokura one-shots based on various Christmas prompts.
Relationships: Kurapika/Kuroro Lucifer | Chrollo Lucifer
Comments: 54
Kudos: 107





	1. Come a little closer and guess my heart

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I'm gonna attempt to tackle this, it's gonna be based on a prompt list I assembled borrowing from different December writing prompts, I hope I manage to do them all.  
> I still don't know how i'm gonna manage the tags because I dont want it to have a million tags by the end, I might try to list them at the beginning of each chapter but I'm still not sure, I might just use the regular tagging system & call it a day.  
> This first one-shot follows the prompt "Naughty" and it's best classified as a modern-setting au (at least thats what i envisioned), and no archive warnings apply; it's very silly & soft, just two boyfriends doing soft Christmas shit. It's also super super short, please forgive me for that, I'll attempt to do longer chapters for other prompts.   
> Thank you for reading!

“...Matching Christmas sweaters?” Kuroro sat on the bed, staring in disbelief at the two atrocious, over the top, ridiculously festive pieces of clothing his boyfriend held in his hands.

One of them was green with the phrase "I've been nice!" embroidered into it in big white uppercase letters, and small Christmas trees were knitted above and below the message, while snowflakes adorned the space surrounding the letters. and the other one was a vivid scarlet color, with the same design, only instead of claiming niceness, this one proudly boasted the message "I've been naughty!".

“Do you have a problem with it?” Kurapika curtly replied, raising a defiant eyebrow.

“You didn’t strike me as the type to get into the Christmas spirit like this, that’s all,” Kuroro said, raising his hands in a gesture of peace.

“Well, bad boy, there’s still an awful lot you’ve yet to discover,”

At this, Kuroro smirked. He pulled Kurapika towards himself until he was standing between his legs. “I’m glad we have time for that then,” Kuroro cheekily stated as his wandering hands made its way to the back of his boyfriend’s thighs, never breaking eye contact.

“Don’t get handsy, Kuroro,” Kurapika warned, putting distance between the two of them, not before carefully setting the sweaters on the bed.

“You’re no fun,” Kuroro groaned, watching as the blond stepped away from his embrace.

“Says the one who doesn’t want to indulge his boyfriend wearing a harmless Christmas sweater!” Kurapika whined, crossing his arms and sounding downright mortified.

Kuroro had to bite his tongue to kill the laughter bubbling inside his throat. Kurapika looked adorable when he was annoyed. And this time, he was even _pouting_.

He stood up to pursue his boyfriend. “Come on, baby,” he said, wrapping his arms around Kurapika’s lithe form, pressing their bodies together, “I never said I wouldn’t wear it,” he stated, settling his hands on Kurapika's waist.

Kurapika pulled away a little, just enough to give his boyfriend a suspicious look,

“As long as I get to take it off you as well,” Kuroro ended his sentence with a lascivious tone.

The glare that Kurapika sent his way was glacial. “You’ve got some fucking nerve, Lucilfer.”

When the blond tried to free himself from his arms, Kuroro held on tighter, "You love it, though," he teased, smirking as he lowered one hand to grab Kurapika's ass, earning a small gasp from the other man. These little noises that escaped the blond's throat were music for Kuroro's ears. 

"You're really fucking insufferable, did you know that?" Kurapika countered, though he made no effort to remove Kuroro's hand; instead he was leaning up, slowly closing the distance between their faces.

Once the distance between their mouths was so minuscule that their breaths fell into the other's mouth, Kurapika smirked, "You're so gonna wear the red sweater," he breathed against Kuroro's mouth. Neither of them were looking into the other's eyes at the moment.

They were so close now that Kuroro could perfectly make out Kurapika's pale freckles across his nose. He licked his lips in anticipation; when it came to Kurapika, he was an extremely weak man, and in that moment he would've agreed to dress up as Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer if that would grant him access to Kurapika's sweet and pretty mouth, so he just nodded, absentmindedly, "Yeah, I will," he whispered.

He moved his hand from the blond's backside to his neck, making sure to trace Kurapika's sides in the process, which made the younger man sigh softly, and leaned down to capture Kurapika's lips with his own. 

As Kurapika laced his hands around Kuroro's neck, he could feel the blond's victorious smirk against his lips, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

Defeat had never been as delightful.


	2. Dipped you inside my white heart, and made it red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day II. Hot Chocolate
> 
> _“Hot chocolate is quite a strange choice,”  
>  “It’s a perfectly normal beverage, especially in December,” Kuroro countered, placidly holding his cup.  
> “I-” he frowned “I just-”  
> “What? World-class thieves can’t drink hot chocolate?”  
> “You’re a pain in the fucking ass, Lucilfer,”_

The coffee shop was pretty much empty, just a loner customer on the back, too engrossed in whatever textbook he was studying to pay Kurapika any mind. This particular shop was never too crowded, which was the main reason why he liked it. That, and the coffee was truly outstanding as well.

“Good morning,” he greeted the barista, who knew him by name.

“Morning! Same as always?”

“Yes, and a hot chocolate as well, please,” The barista’s face expression showed his surprise, but he didn’t say anything about it, thankfully.

He had nearly forgotten, “With double whipped-cream and chocolate chips, please,” he added with a forced smile, before paying and stepping away to go sit down on a nearby couch.

Kurapika was sure this was just another way for the fucking criminal he was working with to mortify him. At least he hadn’t asked for one of those ridiculous rainbow-colored beverages with a million colorful sprinkles.

Of course, that was the least of Kurapika’s problems. He was a lawyer working for the Hunter’s Association who had accepted the help of one of the most wanted criminals in the country to solve this case; in his defense, these were truly desperate times, and he was 100% sure that the Kakin family was involved in the money laundering scheme his department was investigating, but their records were squeaky clean.

So, when the leader of the fearsome and very-much-criminal Phantom Troupe had contacted him offering him real information and leads that would actually get him somewhere, the deal was too tempting not to accept it.

Naturally, it was a mutually-beneficial arrangement, and Kurapika was not proud to admit he too had given the thief insider intel about the Association. Nothing too scandalous, though.

At least that’s what he told himself.

The barista calling out his name took him out of his thoughts. He stood up, took the paperboard tray with the beverages, thanked the barista and stepped outside the shop.

This time Kuroro had asked him to meet in broad fucking daylight -the guy was way too nonchalant about that sort of stuff, considering who he was- in a small park Kurapika had never even heard of. Thankfully, it was within walking distance of the cafe.

_One day he’s gonna fucking kill you in one of these sketchy meetings of yours and no one’s gonna find your decomposing body._

He swallowed. He knew he was playing with fire here, but he was so close to finally cracking this god forsaken case, he just needed some key locations to match with a few dates and it’d be enough to build a decent case against the Kakins.

Plus, he didn’t think Kuroro would actually kill him, not really. The guy was… strange, to say the least. He was surprisingly polite, and carried himself with a very peculiar sort of elegance and security. True security, not the inflated ego that Kurapika was too used to seeing within the Association. He was also very well read, and their conversations had steered towards that common interest of theirs in a couple occasions.

He certainly didn’t look his part as a lord of crime and robbery, either. And although he was always very polite, sometimes that evolved into genuine… kindness? Kurapika really did not want to think about it, but there had been a couple of times in which the other man had seemed genuinely interested in his well-being, and he had gone beyond what they had initially agreed to give him the necessary info for the case.

If the circumstances were different, Kurapika truly thought they could’ve been good friends. But things were what they were.

When he finally arrived at the park, he had to admit that it was a pretty spot. The trees were abundant and very well kept, even in winter; the walking trails were made of polished stone, and the benches looked like they were made from actual sturdy wood carved in beautiful shapes.

It was a breath of fresh air in the constant bustle of the big city.

That place was suspiciously empty, although, to be fair, it was easy to overlook the place if you weren’t looking for it.

Kuroro was sitting on a bench, legs crossed, nose deep inside a book. He was wearing a long, black coat, black jeans, black leather gloves and a crimson scarf that contrasted nicely with his pale skin.

_Get it together, for fuck’s sake._

He approached the other man, who lifted his eyes when he got closer, acknowledging him with a movement of his head and a small smile.

Kurapika hated to admit that it was a very beautiful smile.

He sat down beside Kuroro, offering him his cup.

“Hot chocolate is quite a strange choice,”

“It’s a perfectly normal beverage, especially in December,” Kuroro countered, placidly holding his cup.

“I-” he frowned “I just-”

“What? World-class thieves can’t drink hot chocolate?”

“You’re a pain in the fucking ass, Lucilfer,”

“That, I am,” he conceded before sipping from his cup. He closed his eyes, apparently marveled at the taste, “You have to tell me where you bought this,”

“Why are we here?”

“Always so crass,” he teased, “Even when I show you my favorite spots,”

Kurapika ignored the way his stomach felt as if it had done a small little flip, “I don’t care about your favorite spots. Why are we here?”

“Ah, darling, you really ought to enjoy life a little bit more,” Kuroro sighed, and before Kurapika could open his mouth, he continued, “I know, I know, you want me to get to the point,” he relented, reaching for a crumpled up piece of paper in the pockets of his coat.

Inside of it, in perfect calligraphy, Kurapika found an address and a combination code.

“It’s the address to a warehouse of mine. There you’ll find a safebox that contains a folder filled with evidence of forgery of documents. I even sneaked in a few security tapes. I think you’ll like what’s in them,”

Kurapika’s eyes widened, “How’d you get all that?” he asked, carefully folding the little paper and putting it inside one of the inner pockets of his jacket.

“You don’t want to know, darling,” Kuroro replied with a nonchalant laugh.

“You’re right, I don’t,” Kurapika agreed, “So, what’s the catch?” he asked, upfront.

“Has anyone ever told you just how tactful and subtle you are?” Kuroro replied.

Despite himself, Kurapika snorted, “No one would lie like that to my face,”

The other man let out a small laugh, and Kurapika chose to ignore the way the corner of his eyes crinkled, and how that little laugh lit up his entire face, “I’m serious, though. What kind of intel do you want in exchange for this?”

He braced himself for some sort of impossible request that would very much put his job in jeopardy; it was worth it, though. If some member of the Kakin family had been caught on tape, the case would be ready.

Kuroro leaned back into the bench, sipping his hot chocolate, “Stay with me for a bit, would you?” he said, tone deceivingly empty.

Kurapika frowned, “I don’t-” he began, “Just- for God’s sake just tell me what you want in return. I need to know so that I can start-” he was interrupted by his companion.

“Kurapika. Just keep me company for a moment, please. Drink your coffee, enjoy the moment for once,”

The blond narrowed his eyes, “I don’t know what you’re doing, but fine. I’ll indulge you,” he imitated the other man’s position and leaned back on the bench, finally taking a sip of the black coffee he ordered.

The park was a truly lovely place, and Kuroro’s admitted favorite spot was even more so, since it was somewhat secluded and the thick foliage that surrounded this particular area offered a sense of privacy.

They remained in silence for a while, until it was so unbearable that Kurapika started making small talk, “What’s up with the hot chocolate anyway?”

“You’re still hung up on that?” Kuroro chuckled, “What do you think would be a proper beverage for a criminal?” he inquired.

“Shut up,” Kurapika mumbled.

“I’ll ease your mind. I like sweets. I really enjoy a sugary rush first thing in the morning. Gives me the energy for a long day of crime and thievery and murder,” he said with a cheeky smirk upon his lips, eyes bright with mirth.

His ridiculous answer actually managed to make Kurapika laugh.

“You should try it sometime, if you get bored of your black coffee,” Kuroro added.

“Well, just like your streaks of crime are fueled by sugar, my never-ending quest for justice is fueled by pure caffeine,” he joked back.

Kuroro only smiled at his response.

They fell back into silence, only this time, it was much more comfortable. He shouldn’t feel so at ease sitting with this man in a public park drinking coffee like it was the most normal thing in the world.

The truth was, Kurapika had gotten used to their rendez-vous throughout the past couple of months.

Suddenly, he realized. If what Kuroro had gotten him was as good as he claimed -and the man had never disappointed when it came to that-, the case would be sealed, and Kurapika would be able to move on to the next phase of it all, and there would be no need to meet Kuroro anymore. This could very well be the last time they would have to see each other in person.

The realization shouldn’t sting as much as it did.

He turned his head slightly to take a look at the man who was sitting beside him. The thief with whom he had forged a strange alliance. The world-class criminal who liked to drink hot chocolate on cold December mornings peacefully sitting on his favorite bench at his favorite park.

He had a _favorite park_ , for fuck’s sake.

For reasons that Kurapika did not want to even begin to make sense of, he didn’t want to stop seeing this man.

He had to stop this nonsense. This man had been a very unlikely asset, and soon enough he wouldn’t need his help at all, and he’d be able to go back to his normal and mundane routine. There would only be one thing tying them now, and that was the favor that Kurapika now owed him,

“You haven’t stated what you’re gonna want in return,” he broke the silence once again.

“Ah, that. You really didn’t notice, but I did tell you what the price would be, if that’s how you want to see it,”

Confusion overtook the blond, and he furrowed his eyebrows.

“I asked you to keep me company for a while,” Kuroro continued, “That’s what I want in return,” he finalized.

Kurapika’s mouth opened into a perfect little “o” shape.

_What the hell is going on?_

He surely didn’t mean it like that. It wasn’t possible. What on earth could a crime boss find interesting about him or his dull company? And while their arrangement benefitted them both, Kurapika sure did get the sweeter end of it. He had taken way more from Kuroro than Kuroro from him, and it made zero sense for him to ask for his fucking _company_.

“What the fuck did you just say?” he said once he could finally force his neurons to arrange a sentence.

Kuroro was looking at him with such an amused look on his face, “I said that your company is all I want in return for this final exchange of ours,”

Kurapika thought he had heard the lightest hint of sadness at the end of that sentence.

“Trust me, Kurapika,” the blond’s heart leapt at the way his name sounded on the thief’s lips -he wanted to hear that velvety voice call out his name again and again and again- “This is the intel that you’ve been waiting for. It’s gonna seal your case,” he assured him, “And that means this is possibly the last time we’ll have to meet,” he continued, and this time Kurapika was sure he could hear sadness in his voice, and his mirthless smile did not reach his eyes, which were filled with such a deep melancholy that Kurapika wanted to wipe away forever, “so please, forgive me if I abuse your trust, but I wanted to prolong this last meeting for a little while,” he finalized with a sigh, which formed a little cloud in the cold air.

“It doesn’t have to be,” he heard himself say, lips moving without asking his brain for permission.

Where this bravado came from, Kurapika had no idea.

Kuroro raised his eyebrows in genuine surprise.

“I mean, you did ask me to tell you where I get coffee, didn’t you?” he rapidly added, feeling how his cheeks burned in embarrassment,

“I did, yes,” Kuroro conceded, and Kurapika’s stomach felt so incredibly funny when he noticed how his stare was regaining that usual mischief of his.

“Do you still wanna?” he asked, barely finding his own voice, “Know the place, I mean,” he added, forcing himself to not look away from the other man.

This time, Kuroro’s smile was brighter than the winter sun, “It’d be a pleasure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!  
> I love the hc that Kuroro has the biggest sweet tooth on the planet, so naturally he'd gravitate towards hot chocolate, contrasting Pika who likes his coffee hot & bitter.  
> Once again, the title was brought by you by a kpop song, this time it was borrowed from Heart Attack by Chuu, a truly adorable song  
> Thank you for reading!  
> also for some reason the notes from the 1st chapter show up here, just ignore them lol


	3. Snowcastles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day III. First time seeing snow

Kurapika slowly opened his eyes, immediately feeling the comfort of the firm chest pressed against his back and a pair of strong arms gently holding his waist, accompanied by soft exhales into his hair. As the world around him became clearer, he realized the room was still too dark, and assumed it was still way too early to be awake.

As he was further leaning into his husband’s embrace, falling back into a sweet slumber, the door to their room opened. “Daddy! Daddy! Wake up! Wake up!” an excited, high-pitched voice exclaimed, “You too dadda! Wake up, wake up!!” she persisted, climbing into their bed and nudging them both repeatedly.

“What is it, dear?” Kurapika heard Kuroro say, voice still raspy from sleep.

“It’s white outside!!” she said, practically jumping up on them, excitement and wonder marking her every word, “let’s go see it! Please, please, please, please, let’s go outside please!!!” 

Ah, so that’s why the sun wasn’t shining upon the window yet.

“Of course we’re going outside, princess,” Kuroro promised, sitting down, “but we all have to get dressed first,” he pointed out, holding her hands in his, “wouldn’t you agree?”

Lena pouted for a second, but frowned a little while she was considering his words, and in a matter of seconds her face was yet again illuminated by the brightest smile, “yes dadda!!” she agreed, hopping off the bed and running to her own room, presumably to get her clothes. 

Kuroro slumped back into the mattress, rubbing his eyes. Kurapika let out a small laugh, “what a way to start the day, wouldn’t you say?” he asked, pressing closer to Kuroro, who turned his head to look at Kurapika, passing his hand through his golden locks. “Good morning, I guess,” he said.

“Her first time seeing snow already,” Kurapika noted with fondness. 

Kuroro smiled. “And she’s probably gonna drag us both out of the bed herself if we don’t go with her soon,” he said, sitting up yet again, “plus I have to go help her with her clothes,” he added as he got out of the bed.

As he was putting on a pair of black pants, he pointed at Kurapika. “You should get up now as well, if you don’t want to be the target of Lena’s wrath,” he said, lighthearted.

“Let me enjoy the view for a few seconds,” Kurapika countered with a cheeky smile upon his face, shifting so he was laying on his side and leaning his head on one hand.

Kuroro only smirked and rolled his eyes, putting one of his usual black turtlenecks on. He walked towards Kurapika, leaning down to peck him on his lips. “You really should get up now,” he insisted before exiting their room to go help Lena.

He finally sat down, stretching his limbs in the process, trying to send his sleepiness away. As he got out of the warm comfort of the bed, he could already tell just how cold it would be outside. And Kuroro pretended to step outside with only a turtleneck sweater; granted, his husband’s tolerance to the cold was far greater than his own, but sometimes he was truly ridiculous.

Once he had layered himself in warm clothes he grabbed one of Kuroro’s wool jackets, as well as a silver cashmere scarf. Kuroro was insane if he thought he’d actually step outside like that. 

Imagine his surprise when he made his way to Lena’s room and found it empty. Panic started rising in his stomach, and his chest felt so incredibly tight he couldn’t breathe, and his mind immediately went through every single terrible possibility.

_ Calm down _ , he tried to tell himself,  _ very few people can hold their own against Kuroro. _

For some reason, the thought did very little to comfort him.

He checked inside the bathroom that was adjacent to Lena's room, and found it empty as well, and every second that passed he could feel his heart beating faster and wilder. Right when he was about to start calling out for Kuroro and Lena, he heard familiar laughter apparently coming from their front yard.

He ran outside, and was met with a lovely scene. 

Kuroro was standing in the middle of their yard, holding Lena in his arms, probably telling her some sort of story about a snow fairy or something of the sort, as he tended to do with a lot of the new phenomena Lena got to experience; that was his way of explaining her a lot of complex concepts. The snowfall had been quite heavy, so they were surrounded by a white landscape, snowflakes landing on them.

He hadn’t even heard the front door open, or their steps going down the stairs.

Love had truly dulled his senses.

Since he was still far enough to be heard by either of them, Kurapika doubled down and let a strangled sob leave him, releasing the unbelievable amount of tension and fear that had managed to build up inside him in a matter of minutes.

Suddenly, he heard little steps coming towards him, and he lifted his head just in time to see Lena’s little pale face with her big grey eyes and her jet-black hair before she threw her tiny arms around him and buried her face in his neck. 

This proved to be too much for Kurapika’s still way too fragile state of mind, and the tears started to flow even if he didn’t properly register it, as he held her tightly.

“Are you okay daddy?” she asked after a few seconds, raising her hand to wipe his tears away.

“Yes, dear, don’t worry about me,” Kurapika replied, trying to sound more secure than he felt.

Little by little, he did start to relax. It was astounding, really, just how soothing Lena’s presence was to him. This was exactly what he needed, to feel the physical reality of his little girl right with him, to know she hadn’t gone anywhere, and to have the certainty that he’d be right there to protect her at all times.

Soon enough, he felt a firm but gentle hand on his shoulder. 

He didn’t want to let go of Lena, but he knew Kuroro must have been worried sick, so he leaned back and shifted so he could face his daughter. 

“Do you wanna go and play? Dadda and I will be here watching you,” he offered, but the little girl only shook her head, refusing to release her father from her embrace.

“Don’t worry about me, princess, I promise you I’m alright,” Kurapika assured her.

“Come, dear, let’s see what else we can build from snow,” Kuroro intervened, offering her his hand. “Daddy will be right behind us,” he promised her, and Kurapika gave her a reaffirming nod.

Lena squeezed him even tighter for a few seconds, but did let go of him after that. She took Kuroro’s hand, and before walking away, she exclaimed, loud and proud, “I love you daddy!” and turned around, leading Kuroro back to where they had been playing. 

Kurapika sat in the steps leading up to the house and watched as Kuroro made up some ridiculous game involving buckets and collecting snow, but somehow it hit the mark, since Lena was fascinated. It seemed like they were trying to build snowcastles, but failing miserably, but judging by Lena’s laughter, she couldn’t care less about it. That, or she was laughing at Kuroro. 

Kurapika found himself chuckling at the thought, feeling his heart warming up. 

As their snowcastles kept falling over and over again, Kurapika couldn't stop his mind from wandering, and he was painfully, mind-numbingly aware of just how fragile his family was. Both his and Kuroro's professions were incredibly dangerous, and even if Kuroro wasn't as prominent in the underworld anymore, they both knew what the risks were when they decided to settle down and raise a child. They had taken every possible measure to ensure Lena's safety, the house was surrounded by security systems (both technological and more, rudimental, for lack of a better word) and not one of the people they worked with knew were they actually lived, only a handful of their closest friends. 

Even so, he knew there was no way to be completely safe, and one misstep could cause eveything to fall apart, just as easily as the castles his little girl was trying to build. The amount of people who wanted either or them (or both) dead was too great to ever be able to consider themselves completely out of danger.

Eventually, Kuroro managed to sneak away for a few minutes, leaving Lena to arrange a bunch of snowballs by size. The girl was so similar to Kuroro that she actually found that entertaining.

Kuroro sat down beside him, grabbing him by his waist to pull him closer to him, and Kurapika let his head rest against Kuroro’s shoulder.

“Don’t do that again,” he whispered.

“Do what?” Kuroro gently inquired, caressing his sides with so much delicacy it felt like the brush of a butterfly’s wing.

“I went to Lena’s room and you weren’t there,” he explained, “I thought that-” he stopped to swallow the nod that was yet again forming in his throat, “I assumed the worst,” he said instead, moving his head to lean against Kuroo’s chest instead.

“It’s alright, love,” Kuroro replied, tightening his hold, “I’m sorry for leaving like that,” he added, pressing his lips to the top of Kurapika’s head, “you know just how impatient she is,” he said, lighthearted.

This did manage to make the blond smile a little, and he nodded against the fabric of Kuroro’s sweater.

"We have to protect her," he murmured, "she has to be safe. I don't even know what would happen to me if-"

Kuroro interrupted him. "Pika, love, stop it," he said, running his hand up and down his back, "don't do that to yourself. We're as safe as we can be, and nothing's going to happen to her," he continued, and he grabbed one of Kurapika's hands to press it against his lips, "I promise you," he finalized, and the sincerity that shone on his eyes and laced his every word was so intense, that Kurapika knew he meant what he had said.

Although they wished nothing more than to remain in each other’s arms, they knew that the little game Kuroro had made up would only distract Lena for so long, so after what felt like barely an instant to Kurapika, Kuroro gave him another kiss, this time on his cheek, and gently released his hold on him.

“Are you feeling better now?” Kuroro asked, and Kurapika nodded.

“I am,” he assured him, standing up, and Kuroro followed his lead.

This was when Kurapika realized that his husband was, in fact, not wearing a proper jacket.

“I can’t believe you stepped outside into the snow wearing nothing but a sweater,” he scolded him, furrowing his eyebrows. He recalled that he had fetched a jacket and a scarf that he must’ve dropped somewhere along the way. And he sure as hell wasn’t going to let either of them out of his sight this soon. He sighed and took off his own scarf to wrap it around Kuroro’s neck, “I sure as hell won’t be the one nursing you back to health if you get sick, so wear this at least.”

Kuroro let out a laugh and it was music to Kurapika’s ears, and was now smiling despite himself. “It looks better on me anyway,” Kuroro teased, and Kurapika only rolled his eyes at him, but the smile in his face proved that he wasn’t annoyed at all. 

He took Kuroro’s hand gloved hand in his, intertwining their fingers. 

His husband was by his side and his daughter's laughter filled the crisp winter air, and he knew that everything was alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Baby Lena was borrowed from [here](https://twitter.com/llumimi/status/1324242394376769536) in case u wanna see what she looks like, she's an adorable bean!  
> I know all the one-shots this far have been ridiculously fluffy, and I wish I could promise that I'll write some hatred and angst and pain. I might _try_ but i really can't make any promises.  
> Anyways, I picture this as a modern AU kind of thing, but both of them have very dangerous jobs still. Kuroro's still involved in illegal shit, so Pika knows that they can be the target of some sort of attack or kidnapping, that's why he immediately panicked.  
> Also!! it doesn't snow a lot where I live lmao but the few times that I've seen snow I do recall the sky being like completely grey, hence the description of the darkness in the room, I apologize if that's not usually the case!  
> Thank you for reading! ♡♡♡


	4. He took me to the sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day iv. skiing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Before diving into the story, I do want to state that this contains very minor Neon/Leorio (pretty one-sided tbh), the three of them are in college and they're the same age (around 20-21).

It was finally winter break after what had been one of the most challenging semesters for Kurapika. He knew it was only natural for things to get harder and for professors to get stricter, since this was his second-to-last semester, but it had still drained all his energy. Two of his closest friends, Neon and Leorio, were in the same circumstances, so they had planned a little skiing trip before going back to each of their hometowns, to properly close the semester.

Kurapika was absolutely thrilled, since skiing had been one of his favorite activities when he was a child, and he couldn't be happier to share that experience with his best friends. That was, until about 10 seconds ago, when Neon had politely informed him he would be riding the chairlift on his own, so that she could try to seduce Leorio, who was a long-time crush of hers. 

Needless to say, Kurapika was bewildered.

Sure, she had mentioned how this trip would be a great opportunity for her to get to know Leorio a bit better, and how romantic a mountain covered in snowfall was, and how it would be the stuff of movies, but Kurapika hadn't truly considered what that meant for _him_. He had just assumed he'd be allowed to hang around with them, but Neon's plans were different, apparently.

“What on earth do you mean I’m riding on my own?” Kurapika asked, mortified to the bone.

He had a terrible realization. “That means I’m gonna ski with god-knows-who!” he noted, absolutely scandalized.

“You agreed to come here to set me up with Leorio, you can’t back off now Kurapika,” Neon replied, nonchalant, “did you think you’d be our chaperone?” she asked, raising a mocking eyebrow at Kurapika.

“I agreed to come here because we wanted a fun getaway to celebrate the end of the semester,” he argued.

Neon only raised her eyebrows at him, unsurprised.

He pursed his lips, evidently defeated. There was just no arguing with this woman. “I’m so gonna get back at you for this.”

“Come on, don’t be so dramatic, it’s like a 20 minutes ride.”

”More like half an hour and we both know it. Plus the little detail of me actually having to ski with a complete stranger”

“It’s gonna be a perfect opportunity for me to start making my way into Leorio’s heart and, hopefully, his pants.”

Kurapika grimaced. “Please spare me the fucking details,” Neon only chuckled at this.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this for you,” he groaned, and at this, Neon gave him a friendly pat in the back.

“Come on, Kurapika, cheer up!” she said, “who knows? You might find love yourself,” she added with a tone that was way too cheerful for Kurapika’s liking, “or even better, you might get laid!” she teased, playfully hitting his shoulder.

“You’re not making this any better,” he replied, already dreading the long chairlift ride, which was inevitably going to be an awkward half hour of his life. Not to mention the actual activity. He really should’ve gone home sooner instead of indulging in a fucking getaway weekend.

“Fine. Brood all you want,” she gave Kurapika a kiss on his cheek, “you’re still an angel and I love you and I owe you my life.”

“At least we agree on that,” Kurapika muttered.

She gave him a radiant smile before she spotted Leorio, who had arrived at the ski station on his own, given that he presented his last exams a little later than Neon and Kurapika.

“Now, shut it! You know he’s gonna offer to be the one riding on his own if he sees you sulking like a kicked puppy,” she told him, tone strangely menacing.

Before he could snap back at her, Leorio was already making his way towards them.

“Hi! I hope I’m not too late,” he greeted them apologetically.

“You’re just in time Leorio!” Neon replied, voice already several pitches higher and way, way sweeter than how she was talking to Kurapika just a few seconds earlier.

Maybe it really was for the best for him to get some moments of peace if this was how the entire weekend was going to be.

* * *

* * *

“Are you sure it’s alright for you to ride on your own? I still think we can wait a few hours so we can get a three-people lift in the next few rides that’ll go out,” Leorio insisted. He didn’t like the idea of the group being separated.

“It’s alright, Leorio, really,” Kurapika said, doing his best effort to give him a sincere smile. “Besides, if we wait for the next run, we’re gonna waste a lot of daylight hours,” he argued, trying to convince Leorio. 

“I really don’t like this, but if you say it’s okay by you, I guess there’s nothing I can say about it,” Leorio conceded.

“Wonderful guys! Now let’s get going, the chairlifts leave in about 15 minutes!” Neon cheerfully intervened.

He stood in the queue in front of Leorio and Neon, at the request of Leorio, who wanted to at least make sure Kurapika would actually get in a chairlift. It seemed common courtesy, he had said, given that the blond would be away from the group.

In front of Kurapika stood a man wearing all black clothes, with chin-length jet-black hair. He was taller than the blond, but not by much, and seemed to have a wider frame. Not that he could really tell, considering the layers upon layers of warm clothing everyone was wearing. He seemed to be older than Kurapika, but again, not by a lot. A couple years at most.

What truly made Kurapika notice this man was that he seemed to be alone. He wasn’t talking to anyone nor was he in particular proximity to anyone. He didn’t seem uncomfortable about it though, he simply appeared to be enthralled in his own thoughts. And, given that he was directly in front of Kurapika, if he was indeed alone, this would be his chairlift partner.

As the queue advanced, his suspicions got confirmed. The stranger in black was on his own, thus, he’d be riding with him.

Kurapika didn’t understand why the man wouldn’t even take a look around him, to at least assess who his possible companions were. 

Well, at least he probably wouldn’t be the talkative type.

The minutes passed and the queue got shorter and the dreadful moment finally arrived. He glanced back at his two friends to say goodbye.

“See you on top guys!” he said as he waved, trying to sound more secure than he actually felt.

“Good luck Kurapika!” Neon replied, and Kurapika could see that she was genuinely happy, so at least someone was guaranteed to have a good time. 

“Don’t get lost on the way there!” Leorio joked, waving back at him. Kurapika only grinned in response.

He stepped away and towards the departing spot, where his ride partner was already settled and ready to go. He stood beside the stranger, and tried to look at him from the corner of his eye, but before he could really study him, the chairlift was behind them already.

Once they were both sitting and the chairlift took off, he allowed himself to take in the chilling air and just how thrilling it all was. It had been a while since he had indulged himself in one of these trips, but there had been a time in his life where skiing was a yearly tradition for him and his family. He would have loved to share the entire experience with his friends, but doing this one thing for Neon wouldn’t kill him, and the trip would last three days so he still had two entire days to be with them. 

Plus, it was always good to be owed favors. 

“Can I put the bar down?” the stranger asked, startling Kurapika, who was way too absorbed in his own thoughts.

“Oh, yeah, sure,” he replied, barely meeting the stranger’s eye.

He didn’t understand why, but there was something very imposing about this man’s presence. Perhaps it was just how nonchalant he had seemed at the queue, not bothering to glance around even once, or how one could tell he was very comfortable with solitude. 

Perhaps, though, it was about how this man wasn’t bad looking at all.

Kurapika discretely took a good look at his companion. He had very fair skin, a sharp and long nose, a defined jawline, and big grey eyes. He had a small but confident smile on his lips, and it was obvious the whole “being-in-a-chairlift-with-a-stranger” thing wasn’t a big deal at all. It probably wasn’t the first time for him, if he was so casual about it.

Once again, the man’s voice interrupted his inner rambling.

“Is this your first time skiing?” he asked, turning his head to look at Kurapika, a small and polite smile upon his lips.

_ God, no, _ Kurapika thought,  _ please don’t let him be the type to want to indulge in small talk. _

“Far from it,” he replied. He didn’t want to be impolite, since the stranger hadn’t given him any reason to, and he knew that giving one of his usual crass answers would only make the trip awkward for the two of them, but he really didn’t see the point in chatting all the way to the mountain if he was never going to see this man again.

“I figured, since you had no trouble getting into the chairlift,” the stranger kept going, not discouraged one bit by Kurapika’s dry reply, “I’m Chrollo, by the way,” he introduced himself.

“Kurapika,” he replied, hoping that his smile didn’t look as awkward as he felt.

“So, Kurapika,” his companion - _ Chrollo _ \- said, “how long have you been skiing for?” 

Kurapika cursed Neon in his head before answering. “Many years. I started when I was a kid.” 

“I see,” Chrollo replied, and remained silent afterwards, apparently getting the hint that Kurapika was not going to be a chatty companion.

Once again, silence filled the chilly air, and Kurapika took in the beautiful scenery that could be appreciated from this height. This was one of his absolute favorite activities. He berated himself for letting life get so hectic that he let years pass without indulging himself with these types of trips. He was already anticipating the thrill of sliding down the mountain, as free as a bird. Very,  _ very _ , few things in life could rival that feeling.

Suddenly, the chairlift came to an abrupt stop, and he had to hold on to the side of it to steady himself. He noted that Chrollo had instinctively put a protective arm in front of him, and he could feel his cheeks heating up.

“What was that?” Chrollo asked, putting his arm away from Kurapika, not even acknowledging what he had done, and the blond was surprised to hear a very clear alarmed tone coming out of his mouth. Malfunctions weren’t super common, that was true, but they also were something every experienced skier knew happened from time to time. 

You know what? Scratch that, one didn’t even have to be that experienced to know this was always a possibility.

Still, Kurapika could tell by Chrollo’s voice that he was genuinely worried, so he kept his judgement to himself. “It’s probably just a minor mechanical malfunction,” he replied, trying his goddamn best to sound kind, “they’re usually fixed in about 20 minutes,” he assured him.

Chrollo nodded, still visibly nervous. “Alright,” he said.

It was Kurapika’s turn to be curious. “Is this your first time skiing?” he asked, slightly tilting his head. The prospect hadn’t even crossed his mind, given how comfortable he had looked throughout the entire ordeal, but the possibility was always there.

Chrollo chuckled, but it failed to lighten the mood. “Am I that obvious?” he asked, looking downwards.

Kurapika couldn’t help but raise his eyebrows, genuinely shocked. “Not at all,” he said, surprise oozing from his every word. “Quite the contrary, actually. You- you seemed so confident in the queue!” he frowned, raising his voice slightly, when he had another realization. “You didn’t even ask a single question! You had no trouble getting into the chairlift either,” Kurapika noted. He was truly bewildered by the revelation.

Chrollo laughed again. “Well, I really prepared for this,” he stated, “I’ve read books and watched a lot of documentaries, so I’m as ready as one can be,” he explained.

Kurapika furrowed his eyebrows, “and those books of yours failed to mention mechanical malfunctions?” he asked, incredulous.

“Of course not, but it’s quite different reading about it than actually feeling this thing stop like that,” he replied defensively, hugging himself.

Kurapika was very amused. This mysterious and imposing man was actually about to shit his pants because of this. However, he also felt a little bit like an asshole, given that now he could understand that Chrollo’s attempts at making small talk were most likely an effort to ease the nerves he was undoubtedly feeling, no matter how much he had prepared for the experience.

Kurapika observed the man whose arms were still wrapped around himself, jaw clenched, trying to control his breathing. 

He tilted his head to a side, narrowing his eyes. “May I ask why you thought it was a good idea to go skiing for the first time on your own?” he asked, curious, but also genuinely interested. Skiing was not an easy activity, and it was always nice to be with someone who could help you out on your first couple of attempts.

“So, you suddenly decided to actually engage in conversation?” Chrollo replied, a sarcastic edge to his voice, but his expression relaxed a little bit, which showed he wasn’t actually annoyed, so Kurapika waited for him to keep going, attentive. “I guess I just like living new experiences, and I’d been wanting to try this for a while now,” he paused a little, “and I don’t get a lot of time off, so I just took this one weekend, even if none of my friends could come.” he finalized.

Kurapika hummed, “I guess that makes sense,” he said, “but I still think it’s not a wise decision,” he added. While he understood 

This time, a genuine and mischievous smile made its way to Chrollo’s lips. “Makes it even more thrilling, wouldn’t you say?” he stated, eyes glinting.

“I would say it makes it very likely for you to break a limb or two on the way down, but I guess that can be thrilling, if you’re into that,” he replied. The moment those words left his lips he knew he’d made a terrible mistake. 

Chrollo raised an eyebrow, teasing. “Oh,” he said, and Kurapika interrupted him before something else could leave his mouth.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he rapidly said, knowing his cheeks had to be a very bright pink color now.

At least Chrollo didn’t look like he was about to faint anymore.

“Well, I’ll ease your mind either way. I don’t think I particularly enjoy limb-breaking as a bedroom activity, no,” Chrollo said, trying his best to sound serious, but Kurapika could still see that spark in his wide grey eyes.

Kurapika rolled his eyes, and the next words formed in his throat and left his lips before his brain could truly process them. “I wouldn’t expect a guy who reads about skiing techniques to be into that, you’re right,” he heard himself say, and it was too late to take it back now. He couldn’t comprehend why he was suddenly so comfortable  _ teasing _ this complete stranger, or how easily they had fallen into this little exchange of theirs. 

Or how, despite himself, despite how badly he wanted to ignore it, a funny and tickling sensation was growing, slow but steady, in his stomach.

He could hear Neon’s remarks very clearly inside of his head.  _ Who knows? You might find love yourself, or even better, you might get laid! _

“Ah, I see how it is, Kurapika,” the other man replied, barely containing the smirk that was threatening to show through the corners of his lips, and Kurapika loved the sound of his own name. “Now you’re belittling an innocent man’s efforts to get ready for a brand new sport experience,” Kurapika straight up giggled at that, “but don’t worry, I’m not hurt by your venomous remarks,” he finalized, with a very dignified tone.

“Shut up,” Kurapika mumbled, lighthearted.

Their conversation kept going just as easily, and Kurapika learned that Chrollo, coincidentally, lived in York New as well, where he worked at a prominent accounting firm. He had also very recently opened a small bar near the college Kurapika attended (he promised Kurapika generous discounts if he took his friends there), and was apparently doing very well. He, on the other hand, revealed that he was a criminal justice major, who aspired to attend law school as soon as he graduated. 

“Ah, so you want to put the bad guys away,” Chrollo said, teasing him once again.

“Something like that, yeah,” Kurapika conceded. “Especially white collar criminals, such as corrupt accountants,” Kurapika said, joking back, once again building this back-and-forth teasing that for some reason felt like a completely natural thing.

Chrollo laughed, loud and clear this time, as he held his hands up. “I guess I’m gonna have to work within the law from now on, since I don’t want to face your wrath.”

“You better,” Kurapika said, turning to face upfront, but still looking at Chrollo from the corner of his eye.

Before Chrollo could respond, the chairlift shook a little, and just like that, they were moving once again.

“It was about time,” said Chrollo. Kurapika tried to ignore the way his heart sank a little. He was under the impression that they were having a good time, and for some reason it really bothered him to think that the other man had been anxious the whole time, or worse, bored.

“Come on, that wasn’t as bad as you expected, right?” he inquired, trying to conceal the nervousness in his voice, but it still came out rather high-pitched and breathless.

Chrollo shifted a little to look him straight in the eye, and his expression was so fond that Kurapika really hoped he wouldn’t be disappointed with his answer. “Not at all, Kurapika,” -and there it was again. The way he made his name sound so different and special,- “quite the opposite, actually,” he admitted, and Kurapika couldn’t hide the way his features lit up when hearing those words, “but I do want to show off what I learned in those books you want to belittle so much,” he said, a teasing smirk upon his face.

“You’re gonna break an arm down there and I won’t be the one to help you out,” Kurapika replied, killing the laughter in his throat.

“We can save the limb-breaking for later, wouldn’t you say?” he replied with a devilish grin, looking at Kurapika straight in his eye, and the blond felt his cheeks heating up once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! First of all, I wanna apologize for the late update, I know I'm late AND behind but hopefully I'll be able to catch up this week!  
> I kinda like this setting, I really dig the whole college AU thing, I might consider doing more with it, but we'll see.  
> I do wanna point out that I know absolutely jackshit about skiing and the very few knowledge I do have was acquired through reading pop-articles & watching youtube videos of people riding chairlifts, so that's why things aren't very detailed lol  
> As always, thank you so much for reading! ❤


	5. No other sadness in the world would do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> day v. the cabin at the top of the hill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you dive into this, I do wanna mention there's brief mentions of suicidal thoughts, so please be careful!  
> It might also be important to mention that this deals with a sick character (emperor time hello!!!); however, no one dies.

It was said that amongst the vast fields covered in snowfall and the gentle slopes of the white hills, one could find a lonely road. If you follow that road, it will lead you to a hidden hill, and upon its top you will find a cabin.

Little is known about the road, and the cabin and its inhabitants are an even bigger enigma.

Some people say the cabin housed devils disguised as angels, creatures of wrath and ire, with stares stained in blood and blasphemous markings all upon their bodies. 

Other people claimed that the inhabitants were nothing but angelic beings; these people assured they had caught glimpses of golden halos and crystal blue eyes that gleamed with sincerity.

Kurapika knew about these tales. Whenever he had to go to the town for supplies, he made sure to disguise his appearance, especially his eyes. And so, the vendors, who always addressed him as a woman, made small talk with him, some of them were much chattier than others and informed him about those wild testimonies. The vendors always claimed they didn’t believe them, but they still made sure to stay away from lonesome roads.

_ Good, _ Kurapika would think on such occasions, _ stay away _ .

He had been in seclusion for a couple of months now, and life was mostly pacific. He woke up, ate his breakfast, cleaned up his house, and absorbed himself into a new book everyday, not taking his nose out of it until it was time to cook dinner. He had also started to tend to a little garden of his own. So far he had successfully grown tomatoes, several types of mushrooms, strawberries and different species of flowers. At one point he thought of getting a few animals, but he knew he wouldn’t be around for much longer, and it didn’t seem fair to the poor creatures.

Thinking about it, the term “dull” could be a better fit to describe his current lifestyle. It didn’t bother him, though. He had experienced enough adrenaline and thrill for a lifetime. Even for lifetimes as short as his.

It was now winter, and the hills that surrounded his home were all perpetually covered in white snowfall. Despite his best efforts, it was clear not many of his plants would survive the winter. And, if the constant burning he felt on his chest was an indicator of his own health, the same could probably be said for him.

He had once thought he would be ready to die once he had buried all the eyes and given a proper goodbye to his people. And while he still accepted his fate, everyday was a little more terrifying than the previous one. He had never given any thought to how painful the road to death would be, and as the days passed, the oppressing pain in his heart grew stronger. The idea of ending it all himself had crossed his mind several times. It would be as easy as to go into Emperor Time for a few hours, maybe even less, and wait until it was all over, but he just couldn’t bring himself to even planning it out. 

And so, he was stuck like this. Living his last days in seclusion, waiting for the sweet bite of death. He prayed it would get him in his sleep, but he knew better than to expect such luck. The truth was, a part of him longed for death. He was so _ so _ tired.

On a particularly cold day, one in which he had barely managed to get himself out of bed, he was curled up on a sofa in front of the fireplace, reading as usual. The cold was getting so bad that the day the pain in his limbs got so bad he couldn’t arrange the fireplace would be the day he’d seriously consider overdoing Emperor Time and surrender to his sad fate. At least it would be a tad more dignified than freezing to death.

Such were his thoughts when a knocking sound interrupted his inner rambling. For a few seconds he thought he had hallucinated it, not one person had ever come this far since he moved in, but he was proven wrong when the sound repeated itself and reverberated inside the cabin. He considered simply not acknowledging it and let whoever this was go away, but if this was a nosy neighbor, the tales of an empty haunted cabin was more likely to attract unwanted visitors than the mundane truth of a lonesome man living in it. 

When he opened the door, though, he found a man he never thought he would see again. Not in this lifetime at least.

He stood there, in front of the visitor, wide eyed and open-mouthed. “Oh,” was all that left Kurapika’s mouth.

“Were you expecting someone, darling?” Kuroro said, a smirk adorning his face.

“How did you find me, Lucilfer?” Kurapika replied, frowning.

“Did you know your lovely neighbors, the townspeople, believe that you’re some sort of devil?” Kuroro said, ignoring Kurapika and letting himself into the cabin. “To be fair, some of them also believe you’re an angel,”

“Did I say you could come in?” Kurapika asked, but he closed the door behind Kuroro either way.

“It’s too cold outside, darling, we don’t want to get hypothermia now, do we?” Kuroro replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, as he walked towards the fireplace, proving his point.

“Why are you here?” Kurapika hissed, following him and inadvertently conjuring his chains.

”Put those away, you can’t afford to lose any more time, can you?” Kuroro said once he heard the metallic noise of the chains.

Kurapika’s eyes widened in stupor. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” he asked, raising his voice, although he did put the chains away.

Kuroro looked him straight in the eye, and Kurapika was surprised by the sadness in his stare. “We both know exactly what that’s supposed to mean,” he said, and Kurapika was taken aback by the sudden gentleness in his tone.

Kurapika huffed in annoyance and looked to the side, closing his eyes to compose himself. “What do you want?” he asked, trying his hardest to keep his voice level.

“I needed to see you,” Kuroro replied, tone not betraying his intentions.

“What fucking for?” Kurapika countered, annoyed.

Kuroro reached out as if he wanted to touch his face, but Kurapika instinctively moved away, “Kurapika,” he licked his lips, “I-” he sighed, moving his hand to pass it through his own hair. “You’re sick,” he finally stated.

Kurapika narrowed his eyes. “That’s one way to put it, yeah,” he said, giving no further details.

Kuroro took his time formulating his reply, and finally he simply asked “Why are you here?” 

The question confused Kurapika, especially because Kuroro’s tone was genuinely inquiring. He didn’t know what the older man wanted to hear, and he wasn’t even sure he had understood the question. “Well, I fucking bought this house,” he replied either way.

Kuroro sighed, apparently exasperated, and pinched the bridge of his nose. “That’s not- did you come here to die?” he asked, crass.

The bluntness of the question took Kurapika by surprise. Even then, he nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I did,” he said, voice barely above a whisper.

The gentleness with which Kuroro cupped the side of his face startled him, but he did not push him away.

“Why did you not tell me?” he asked, and the voice that he used was just above a whisper. He sounded genuinely hurt, and Kurapika couldn’t understand why. He backed away from Kuroro’s hold.

“Why would I?” he replied harshly. He was actually getting angry now. He did not owe anything to this man. His friends had no idea where he was, he had just told them he was going to be away for a long time, and only Melody knew the truth thanks to her ability, but Kurapika had made her vow not to tell anyone for at least a year and a half, which was when he was completely certain he’d be dead.

“I thought-” Kuroro started, but Kurapika interrupted him.

“You thought what? We fucked a couple times and all was forgiven and forgotten?” Kurapika scoffed. His lips curled up, mocking and cruel, “did you want to be my boyfriend or something?” he said, every word meant to sting.

Kuroro took a sharp inhale of air, and his previously soft expression morphed into the emotionless mask he tended to wear.

“Why are you doing this?” Kuroro asked in his usual empty voice.

Kurapika was really starting to run out of patience, and he raised his voice once again. “For fuck’s sake, doing what?” 

“Giving up,” Kuroro stated.

That was certainly not something Kurapika expected to hear. It was what finally made him snap, and when he looked back at Kuroro, he knew his eyes were a vibrant crimson.

“Don’t you fucking dare. You don’t have the right to judge me, Lucilfer,” he said, low and dangerous, “you didn’t even have the right to look for me, much less to find me,” he stated, hugging himself.

He didn’t let Kuroro speak before continuing. “I’ll indulge you with more information than you deserve. This isn’t some typical disease I can cure,” Kurapika explained, “so there’s nothing I can do but resign to my fast-approaching death,” he paused for a bit to calm his breathing “but if you already know about the chains, I assume you know this as well, so that brings us to the pressing question,” he would not break eye contact with Kuroro, and he made sure to enunciate each and every syllable of his next sentence, “why did you come?”

“I already told you. I needed to see you,” Kuroro replied, and Kurapika wanted to punch him. His cryptic answers would not do, not this time, not when he had shown up at his doorstep unprompted, not when Kurapika was on the verge of a breakdown. No, Kurapika needed a real explanation.

“Why?” he asked, tone demanding.

The mask was threatening to break once again, and Kurapika could see it in the way Kuroro’s jaw tensed up, and the slight way in which his eyes seemed to drop.

Kuroro swallowed. “I don’t know,” he admitted.

Kurapika looked at him, incredulous. Then he started laughing. Really laughing. Soon he was doubling down, he was sure he looked like a mad man. Maybe seclusion had gotten to him. Kuroro only stared at him. 

“You’re so fucking unbelievable,” he said, once his laughing fit was over. “Well, here I am,” he said, pointing at himself, as if to prove his words. “You’ve seen me. You can leave now,” he stated, lightly patting Kuroro’s chest.

“No,” Kuroro replied, dry.

Kurapika rolled his eyes. “It wasn’t a suggestion,” he said, flicking his tongue.

“Good, because I wasn’t going to take it,” Kuroro countered.

“Are you here to finally witness my bloodline die out? Is that what this is? Maybe you even want to make sure you carry out the deed yourself,” he tilted his head to the side, looking at Kuroro almost curiously, as if he was testing out his reactions, “to finish what you started and all, you know?”

“If I wanted you dead I would’ve just let you use your pretty chains on me the moment I arrived. How long would I have had to let myself be bound until you dropped dead? A couple hours?”

“Don’t taunt me, Lucilfer. We both know I can still kill you,” Kurapika said, curtly.

For some reason, this seemed to soften Kuroro. “And it would take you less than a second,” he said.

Kurapika was disarmed by the way in which Kuroro was looking at him. His big grey eyes looked so soft that the cold steel of them looked warm and inviting. He couldn’t pinpoint the moment in which the cold and calculating hatred that permeated Kuroro’s stare in their earlier encounters morphed into genuine, childlike curiosity, and then into  _ this _ . Whatever  _ this _ was. He briefly wondered if the same could be said for himself. 

_ What do you see when I look at you? _

He swallowed. “I really need you to leave,” Kurapika hated the way his voice was nothing but a whisper now, but he didn’t trust himself to raise his voice. He knew this was the only way to avoid his voice to break.

Kurapika wanted him to understand. If there was one person who could understand his choice to go and fuck off to die in a cabin in the middle of fucking nowhere, it would be Kuroro. 

This time, when Kurapika once again felt the tender touch of a warm hand cupping his cheek, he found himself leaning into it, a small whimper leaving his mouth. Without thinking about it, he raised a hand to hold onto Kuroro’s arm.

“I’ve been worried sick about you,” Kuroro said, and his tone spoke of heartache.

“That’s on you, really,” Kurapika replied, feeling how his own mouth curled up the lightest bit, offering a small hint of a smile.

“Yeah, it is,” he agreed, mirroring Kurapika’s expression.

They stayed like that for a while, in silence, deathly afraid that if either of them said anything, the spell would break, and they would be themselves again, and it would all be over, and Kurapika would have to order him to exit his cabin yet another time.

Eventually, though, the bubble had to be burst. “Do you really want me to leave?” Kuroro asked, thumb tenderly brushing the eyebags that now were perpetually on Kurapika’s face.

Kurapika lowered his head. He knew he should want Kuroro gone. The fiery hatred he had once harbored for him was nothing but dull, lifeless embers, - _ or maybe it had morphed into a completely different emotion altogether- _ and he no longer had any desire of ending his life.  _ Quite the contrary actually. _

Regardless of his feelings or lack of feelings for this man, Kurapika wished only for peace during his last months on this Earth, and Kuroro gave him everything but. The mere act of being in his presence sent his heartbeat into a frenzy, a million contradictory emotions relentlessly attacking his already too aching chest.

But Kurapika couldn’t stop himself from taking it all in. Just looking at him, feeling him caressing his face, smelling his cologne, it all felt so sickeningly  _ right _ . 

Without looking up, Kurapika shook his head in a very subtle, barely there motion.

This was enough for Kuroro to eliminate the space between them, pulling him into a tight hug that felt impossibly warm to Kurapika. One of his arms stayed on his waist, securing him, and the other found its way to his hair, delicately fondling the gold of his head. Kurapika gripped his back with so much desperation his knuckles turned white. He rested his head on Kuroro’s chest, allowing himself to get lost in the embrace for a moment. Kuroro’s presence was overwhelming, and he was already in a very fragile state of mind, and he took a sharp inhale of air before the dam burst.

He wept as Kuroro held him, wept for all he had lost, for what he hadn’t allowed himself to have, for Kuroro, for  _ himself _ . 

“I’m so scared,” he confessed once he had calmed down enough to speak, and it pained him to realize just how small and weak his voice sounded.

Kuroro held him even tighter, “I know, I know you are Kurapika,” he murmured as he kept caressing his head. “I’m not going to leave you,” he said, pressing his lips to the crown of his head.

Kurapika didn’t know what to say, so he just nodded. He shouldn’t feel so safe inside his arms. He shouldn’t find this much comfort in this man’s presence. And yet, here they were.

His feelings for Kuroro were...complex, to put it lightly. There was not enough kindness in the world to forgive him for what he had done to him, but Kurapika didn’t have the strength to hold on to his hatred anymore. He knew he hadn’t hated this man for a long time. And it wasn’t just indifference either, no, there was something warm in his chest when looking at Kuroro. 

He would never completely understand how they had ended up like this, but that night, he fell asleep safely nestled inside strong arms, feeling a firm and warm chest pressed up against his back, and somehow, his heart felt at peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! First of all, thank you sm for reading!! I know i'm still very behind on my schedule, but I do still plan to fulfill all 31 prompts this month, pray for me lol  
> I am less than pleased with this, but I'm already so behind that I didn't want to lose another day or two editing and nitpicking it, so here it is! it's kind of an attempt at a less fluffy setting bc all i've done this far is fluff and domesticity, so I wanted to change it up a little! i'm not sure if I succeeded, but hey! there was an attempt!  
> This time the title was borrowed from hoax-taylor swift. it just screams krkr for me. however!!! this fic atmosphere was given by the lakes-taylor swift, as well as hoax, but the lakes was played like a hundred times while writing this.  
> anyways! thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed this ❤


	6. the way to a man's heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> day vi. secret santa

“Shit,” Kurapika muttered, toothbrush on hand, when he saw the notification on his phone. 

He had completely forgotten about the christmas exchange, and he was already running late to the office.

He knew he should’ve never agreed to participate, but Leorio had insisted. Apparently Kurapika had to try to socialize more within the company or whatever.

The bigger issue here was that he didn’t really know the guy he was supposed to gift something to. Kuroro Lucilfer (Kurapika was certain he had given that name to himself. Who names a baby _ that _ ?) worked in the accounting department, and Kurapika had only caught brief, fleeting glances at him whenever he passed by his office to go argue with Netero. Not knowing the guy meant that Kurapika wouldn’t be able to give some bullshit excuse or make up for the lack of gift later.

But he was already  _ so  _ late for his commute, he knew he wouldn’t have the time to go and buy something. 

Maybe if he texted Melody she could pick some mug or something for him…

And then he remembered.  _ Of course! _ He still had that box of chocolates Miza had gifted him back on his birthday! They dated back from april but they would have to be good enough.

He quickly went and retrieved them from his cabinet in the kitchen, they were even still all wrapped up and pretty, they’d be  _ perfect _ ! 

* * *

“Kurapika!” Leorio called out, peeking from over his cubicle’s walls, “we’re about to begin the exchange,” he said, excitement obvious in his tone. 

Kurapika loved the holidays, but he had never and  _ would never  _ understand the need to gift something to strangers just in the name of spreading the Christmas spirit, because these kinds of dynamics made him feel everything but festive. They were just  _ awkward _ , and no one was ever happy with what they were given because, of course, no one knows what the person who sits ten cubicles away is looking for in a festive mug. He felt a pinch of shame, knowing that he himself had gotten a hold of his gift at the last possible moment and, as if that wasn’t bad enough, it was a recycled gift.

He sighed. Better to get this over with already, he thought as he stood up to follow Leorio.

“Come on, Kurapika, you look like you’re going to a funeral,” Leorio told him as they walked through the busy corridors, “cheer up a little!”

“I can’t believe I let you and Neon convince me to do this,” Kurapika muttered.

“I’m glad we did! Socializing a little won’t kill you, you know?”

Kurapika only scoffed at this.

“What’d you buy? You got that accountant guy, right?” Leorio inquired.

“Yeah, I got him a box of chocolates,” Kurapika answered, not giving any further details.

“Wise choice, you can never go wrong with chocolates,” Leorio said, “let me take a look at the box,” he added, and before Kurapika could react, he took the box away from him. Kurapika could only pray he didn’t remember they were the ones Miza had given to him all those months ago.

“Aren’t these-” Leorio began, and Kurapika braced himself for the scolding, “my god Kurapika! You’re unbelievable!” Leorio said, annoyed. 

“I can explain,” Kurapika countered, wanting to defend himself.

“You didn’t even take the congratulations card off,” Leorio told him, ripping the balloon-themed tag off. 

Kurapika’s cheeks were red as a pomegranate. He was incredibly embarrassed.

“I forgot, okay?” he said, snappy, “and when I got the stupid notif on my phone I was already running a late, it’s a miracle I found something” he continued, snatching the box away from Leorio. 

“Miza gave you that box in April. Do you want to poison the accounting guy or something?” Leorio asked, and Kurapika could just feel the utter and sheer judgement coming from his friend.

Kurapika shrugged. “They’re fancy chocolates, I’m sure they kept just fine,” he said, silently praying he’d be correct. It was one thing to offer a bad or ugly gift and another thing entirely to gift a poor random guy some rancid sweets.

“I can’t believe you,” Leorio replied, but before he could judge Kurapika any further, they arrived at their room of destination.

It was one of the smaller conference rooms, and they were all gathered; about 30 people had participated in the exchange, and Kurapika vaguely recognized all of the faces, from seeing them running past his office to deliver reports on time, or gossiping next to the coffee vending machine, or riding the elevator together. 

He was fairly sure there were people from every single department in here, and he wondered how the hell Neon knew so many of them as well as to convince them to participate in a fucking Secret Santa. 

_ Well _ , he thought,  _ being the CEO’s daughter certainly doesn’t hurt _ .

“Kurapika! Leorio!” He heard the cheery, high-pitched voice call out. There she was, Neon, dressed up in what could only be described as a Santa Claus dress and green tights, walking towards them.

“It’s so nice to see you, Neon!” he said, hugging the girl. As much as she got on his nerves sometimes, she had always been a genuine friend to Kurapika. Even if she conspired with Leorio against him. 

“Aren’t you both excited?”She asked after hugging Leorio, “I think we should do something like this again on Valentine's Day!” she said, and Kurapika didn’t have the heart to shoot her idea down, so he only offered a weak attempt of a smile. Luckily, Leorio was there. “That’s a marvelous idea, but I think we should see how this one goes before getting ahead of ourselves,” he said. Kurapika smiled to himself. Ah, Leorio, ever the voice of reason.

“You’re right,” Neon agreed, “we better get started then!” She said, turning around to address everyone else. “I think everyone is here,” she cheerily announced to the chatty crowd.

Everyone took a seat, and as Neon explained the dynamic, Kurapika started scanning the faces, looking for the unlucky guy who had gotten him as a Secret Santa.  _ Kuroro _ .

There he was, wearing a black turtleneck and black, straight-cut pants. Kurapika had never paid much attention to the guy, but no one could deny he was rather good looking. He had longish black hair and very sharp and defined features. He did wonder what the head bandages were for though, he had never seen him without them so he didn’t think they were related to an injury of sorts.

Oh well, he guessed it didn’t really matter. 

Neon explained the dynamic, which wasn’t any different than your typical gift exchange dynamic, and Kurapika was only half-paying attention to what was transcurring. Suddenly he was very apprehensive of his gift. 

_ It’s alright _ , he weakly attempted to assure himself, you did what you could.  _ Even if the actual sweets are bad, no one can deny it’s a nice box. _

It was finally Kurapika’s turn to give his gift. Thankfully the dynamic was as simple as they came, he just had to stand in the center and say the name of the person. 

When he was firmly planted in the center of the room, he decidedly avoided Leorio’s gaze of contempt at all costs. He fidgeted a little and cleared his throat, before simply and bluntly stating “I got Kuroro Lucilfer”, looking towards the man’s direction.

Kuroro’s eyes widened a little before he stood up and walked towards Kurapika. When he reached his destination, Kurapika placed the box in his hands, and gathered all his courtesy to summon the happiest tone he could. “Happy holidays,” he said with a small smile, hoping it didn’t look as awkward as it felt. 

“Thank you,” came the reply from the other man, who returned the smile, pulling him in for a brief hug, as dictated by Neon’s rules. Kurapika couldn’t help but realize just how soft the fabric of his sweater was, and how good he smelled. 

The embrace was over as quickly as it began, and as Kurapika went back to his seat, he hoped he wasn’t blushing as hard as he thought he was. 

_ It’s because you’re embarrassed about the terrible gift you got him, _ he thought.

When he was once again sat down, Leorio whispered to him, “I hope that poor guy doesn’t die from food poisoning”.

Kurapika only glared at him.

* * *

Once the whole affair was over, they all went back to their scheduled activities, and Kurapika lost himself in his work. That was, until his phone lit up with a text notification.

**_Leorio, 13:15_ **

_ Bad news.  _

**_Leorio, 13:15_ **

_ Your chocolates were stale. _

Kurapika felt dizzy. 

**_You, 13:16_ **

_ how do you know? _

**_Leorio, 13:16_ **

_ He came to the infirmary. Said he had a stomach ache.  _

**_You, 13:17_ **

_ that could be caused by a million reasons. you’re reaching. _

**_Leorio, 13:18_ **

_ I expressly asked him what he had eaten all day.  _

**_Leorio, 13:18_ **

_ He only had a coffee and a piece of toast for breakfast, and he ate your ancient sweets about an hour before he got a stomach ache.  _

**_You, 13:19_ **

_ you’ve got to be kidding me. _

**_Leorio, 13:19_ **

_ I told you so! _

Kurapika dropped his phone on the table and covered his eyes with his hands. “Shit,” he muttered to himself for the second time on that day. He might not give a shit about the stupid exchange, but he didn't want to cause some guy a fucking food poisoning.

Another buzz of his phone caught his attention once again.

**_Leorio, 13:22_ **

_ I don’t think it’s serious though, don’t worry too much.  _

Kurapika hesitated to send his next text, but he had to know.

**_You, 13:24_ **

_ is he still with you? _

**_Leorio, 13:25_ **

_ He just left. He’s probably by water fountains, I told him he had to hydrate himself. _

**_Leorio, 13: 25_ **

_ Are you gonna go and beg for his forgiveness? _

Kurapika chose not to answer that. Merely to preserve his own dignity,

He made his way to Kuroro’s whereabouts. He didn’t know why he was doing this, but he just felt awful about the whole thing. There was nothing he could do to help Kuroro, not really, but he still felt the need to offer him an apology. And an explanation.

He found him sitting down in one of the couches that were in front of the water fountains. He was slouched back, head tilted upwards, eyes closed. Kurapika could tell he was controlling his breathing, possibly trying to ease the discomfort he was still feeling. 

Kurapika approached him slowly, trying to not make too much noise, and sat on the other end of the couch.

“Hey,” he said, quietly, tentatively. 

The other man opened his eyes, not shifting his position. “Hey,” he greeted back. 

“I heard you got sick?” Kurapika asked, not giving anything away.

“Yeah, something like that” Kuroro replied, and turned his head a little to take a good look at Kurapika, “how’d you know?” he questioned, eyes narrowing, showing suspicion. 

Kurapika swallowed. “Well,” he began, looking down at his fidgeting hands, “I think the sweets I gave you might’ve had something to do with it,” he explained.

The other man’s stance didn’t change. “I see,” he said, still looking at Kurapika with that suspicious, slightly apprehensive, look on his eye.

“It wasn’t intentional,” Kurapika immediately said, not wanting to give him the wrong idea. He figured honesty would be the best policy here.

He sighed, “I just- I’m sorry,” he said. “I can explain. I completely forgot about the whole exchang thing until this morning, and I was already running late and-”, he took a deep breath. 

This was  _ humiliating _ . 

“And?” Kuroro inquired, now more curious than apprehensive.

“And I just grabbed this box I had in my home,” Kurapika confessed, biting his lip. “I never even thought they could be stale, I’m truly sorry”:

Kuroro tilted his head. He looked… amused?

“Well, I’m not thrilled to be sick right now,” he said, “but I can’t say I blame you for forgetting about the whole thing,” 

Kurapika let out a small laugh. “It’s ridiculous, isn’t it?”

“Ah come on,” Kuroro said, “it might be silly but I have to admit it does set the Christmas mood.”

Kurapika only huffed, rolling his eyes. This wasn't the matter at hand , though.

“I am truly sorry,” he apologized once again.

Kuroro laughed, “I will admit I wasn’t very thrilled about getting ill in the office because of some rancid chocolates,” he said, teasing Kurapika.

Kurapika’s cheeks were crimson red. He was absolutely embarrassed. 

“But seriously, it’s okay, don’t worry ‘bout it,” Kuroro finalized.

The next words left Kurapika’s mouth before he even processed the thought. “Let me buy you breakfast tomorrow, at least coffee,”

Kuroro raised his eyebrows, surprise in his eyes.

“Kurapika Kurta, are you asking me out?”

Kurapika’s eyes widened at the realization and he immediately opened his mouth to explain himself, shaking his head. “That’s not-”

“Let me delude myself, will you?” Kuroro interrupted with a mischievous smirk upon his lips, “plus, your gift was truly horrid, so I guess you do owe me one,” he said, his bright grey eyes shining with mirth.

Kurapika only mumbled in agreement.

“If I wasn’t feeling like this I’d probably tell you we should just grab a drink after work,” Kuroro said, “your treat, of course,” he added, mischief glinting in his bright grey eyes.

“We can leave it for another day,” Kurapika offered.  _ What the hell are you saying?  _ he scolded himself, but he had already said it.

“That sounds wonderful, Kurapika,” he replied, a small smile upon his face.

Kurapika smiled back, noticing just how pretty the other man’s eyes were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am once again incredibly late & I apologoze PROFUSELY for that. idk if i'll be able to finish this now, but school & life got very hectic, and I've been trying to finish this chapter for weeks now. Anyways, ik the ending's super rushed, and that last phrase is not meant to be an eye pun but oh well I just had to finish this shit already, otherwise I would've written their actual date & this would've been posted next month probably.   
> As usual, if you are here, thank you SO much and I swear I'll try my best to finish as many prompts as I can; this one's kinda boring & I apologize for that, hopefully more exciting stuff's coming.  
> Thank u for reading <3


	7. Wherever you stray, I follow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> day vii. snowflake lashes

Kurapika loved the snow. 

This was something Kuroro had come to learn with the years. It was hard at first, when all he had ever associated the cold with was the death that it brought to Meteor City year after year. It was different now, though.

Many things were different now.

Judging by the amount of snow on the floor and the trees, it was safe to assume it had been falling the entire night, and even now, in the early hours of the morning, it wouldn’t completely cease. 

He sipped from his mug, relishing in the bitter taste of the coffee and how it lit up his throat, warming him from the inside. Although clouds hadn’t relented just yet, the sun was finally coming up, bathing everything in soft, diluted, golden rays of light. The air was chilly and dry -most importantly, it felt _clean_ \- and the faintest sound of birds chirping could be heard already.

_Breathtaking._

Kuroro had always been an early riser, and he took these little spectacles as some sort of reward for that. Kurapika wasn’t the type to sleep in either, and that was exactly why Kuroro hadn’t woken him up. Life wasn’t as hectic now, but Kurapika’s insomnia -as well as his own- still kicked in from time to time, so they always benefitted from a little extra sleep.

He just hoped it would keep on snowing long enough for Kurapika to be able to see it. It felt wrong somehow, selfish even, sitting here, taking it all in and keeping it to himself while Kurapika slept the morning away inside the house.

He didn’t have to fret about it for too long.

First he heard the faint sound of light footsteps approaching to the front door -even though his circumstances were completely different now, he retained his sharp senses, and a subconscious part of him was always on guard-. Then, the door was opened, and Kurapika was there. 

Kuroro turned his head to look at him. He was very obviously fresh out of bed, but he still retained a very graceful stance to himself. 

_Always so dignified, angel_. 

He had thrown a crimson red cape made from wool on top of his pajamas, his hair was deliciously, wonderfully disheveled, golden locks disarranged into messy sections. He was still blinking sleep away, rubbing his eyes with one hand and covering his yawning mouth with the other.

Even then, though, he was a sight to behold. Kuroro could not pry his eyes away from him, from his slender figure, from his messy hair, from his face that was still flushed from sleep, coloring his cheeks and nose in a lovely and barely-there reddish-pink hue, from the way the sharp angles of his cheekbones accentuated his other features, from his small hand that was still hanging on the edge of his now closed mouth. But the most wondrous detail of it all was the glimmer in his eyes when he realized it was snowing. Kurapika was not going to jump up and down like a child in awe of their very first snowfall, but his eyes were always _oh so honest_ , and Kuroro had learned to read him so damn well he did not miss the spark that lit up the gorgeous taupe orbs. Nor did he fail to notice the impossibly slight gasp that left his mouth, creating a small, very faint trail of white fog with it.

Kuroro’s own breath hitched.

For a man who had once made a living out of stealing, collecting and selling treasures and the most wonderful objects in the world, he knew he had never witnessed a more extraordinary view.

It wasn’t even fair to compare _Kurapika_ to anything else he had ever seen. The man was in a league of his very own, and he was quite certain nothing and no one would ever take that spot away from him. 

Kurapika turned to face him as well. 

He was faced with a visage full of mirth and excitement, and when reddened lips joyously exclaimed “It’s snowing”, all he could do was smile in return. Kurapika was always beautiful, but happiness suited him in a way that Kuroro had never seen in anyone else. 

Kurapika turned his head back to the paysage in front of them. This time, his exhale wasn’t as subtle, and his smile wouldn’t leave his face. He took a step forward, and then another, and as he stepped out of the porch he turned back to Kuroro. Snowflakes were already making a home out of Kurapika’s nestled hair, falling on his nose and shoulders as well. One look was all he needed to know Kurapika wanted him to follow.

And so he did.

They walked under the snow together, occasionally stopping when Kurapika wanted to really take in the snow. Whenever this happened, Kurapika just closed his eyes and slightly tilted his face upwards, taking a deep breath; and Kuroro only stared in awe as the snowflakes stained the porcelain skin. It lasted for a few seconds, and then he’d open his eyes and grab Kuroro’s hand once again, resuming their stroll. 

On one of those occasions, though, Kurapika didn’t close his eyes. Instead, small and cold hands made their way to Kuroro’s face and pulled it down into a delicate kiss. It was a chaste and small thing, really, barely more than a peck, but as Kurapika’s soft lips moved over his own, he couldn’t help but think about how the moment felt heart-rendingly intimate.

When they separated, Kurapika didn’t let go of his face, opting instead to press their foreheads together. When Kuroro opened his eyes, he was met with snowflakes stuck amongst long eyelashes made from honey. His body acted on its own, and before he knew it his lips were upon the golden lashes, kissing the snowflakes away.

He heard -or rather, _felt_ \- Kurapika’s small exhale, and his lips curled up in a small smile.

“Good morning,” Kurapika said with the softest of voices, and Kuroro felt his heart swell up. Somehow, by some sacred miracle, this was his reality. Somehow, this was his partner. And somehow, life had granted him these treasures. 

It hadn’t come without a payment though, for his heart was no longer his, oh no. It belonged to the man in front of him. A creature so beautiful and formidable it was hard to believe he was a mere human. His very own angel. 

And he would gladly pay the price in this and every lifetime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another one already??? imagine having a nice, normal & regular updating schedule.  
> this is pretty plotless but my favorite thing to write is krr rambling internally abt how beautiful krpk is bc that means i can use the former as a self-insert pretty much.  
> also, as u can probably imagine, this was written very quickly, and while i don't hate it rn at 3 am, who knows how i'll feel about it some morning light. oh well. i hope it's not too terrible.  
> another very important note is that the title was borrowed from the song willow - taylor swift. i strongly encourage you all to listen to it, that's kinda the vibe i wanted to evoke. it'll be up to u to decide if i succeeded lmao but fr i hope u enjoy this cuz i enjoyed writing it!!  
> as always, tysm for reading!!! <3


	8. Ceremonials

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> day viii. a christmas alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a heads up, this chapter deals w/ death & grief.

Kurapika’s phone rang. He could not be bothered to check who it was. Possibly Oito or Leorio. They’d always check up on him around this time, since it was when he would usually go on his yearly trip to Lukso. 

This year was no exception. 

It also happened to be the hardest year so far. 

He knew he wasn’t being fair to them, and he knew they were worried sick about him. Oito had been vehemently against him spending the holidays on his own, and Leorio had offered to stay with him for as long as he needed, including Christmas. Even Gon had offered to travel all the way to Swadarni to spend the holidays with them. Kurapika wished he could’ve just said yes. He wished he could’ve been selfish and accepted their desperate attempts at giving him a semblance of normalcy. And some fleeting moments of joy. But he knew it wouldn’t have been fair to them.

He never stayed in Lukso for more than a few hours. The trip was just a way for him to honor his people, to pay his respects, and to feel closer to them, at least for a moment. He didn’t think he would ever be able to spend the night there. There were far too many ghosts dancing throughout the snowed forest, and the longer he stayed, the stronger his desire of becoming one of them grew.

And so, after spending the morning praying for his extinct clan, he made his way onto his next destination.

Right now, as his phone rang and rang, he was sitting in front of a small grave. Besides the honeysuckle and forget-me-nots bouquet he had brought, it was empty. He breathed in the chilly air until the sound coming from his phone died, and the silence and the cold prevailed once again. Even when it was freezing, the air was suffocating, that’s just how filthy it was.

The landscape in front of him could not be more different to the forest that was blooming out of his people’s memory. Lukso was a small piece of paradise on Earth. This place, though, was the complete opposite. 

Meteor City.

When Kuroro died, Kurapika briefly toyed with the idea of burying him in Swadarni. He wanted to believe he had lived happy years there, and if not happy, at least  _ content _ . He wanted to believe -no, he _ knew _ \- that that city had become something akin to a home for Kuroro. It had been like that for him, too, once. It felt like a lifetime ago now.

However, as certain as he was that Kuroro had known happiness in Swadarni, he knew his late lover. And he knew the only place he would’ve wanted to be put to rest at was his hometown. Kuroro had built an altar for his dead spiders, and that would probably be the best place to bury him at, but the location of that place was unknown to Kurapika, so he had had to find an appropriate location on his own. It had seemed like a nightmare at first, having to do all of this once again.

“It’s Christmas Eve,” Kurapika said to the tombstone in front of him, “you always did love the holidays.” he continued with a fragile small, fidgeting with his hands, and already feeling the tears forming behind his eyes. He frowned, “I didn’t really know what to do,” he confessed, voice growing weaker by the syllable, “Oito and Leorio both wanted me to spend it with them, but,” he closed his eyes, trying to contain the tears that were threatening to escape his orbs, “I just-” his lower lip was trembling, “I couldn’t do it.” he finalized, looking down at his hands.

His chest was burning now. It felt just like when he had been on the brink of death, courtesy of his fucking hatsu. The thought brought a bitter smile to his lips. 

_ You died your heroic death to save my fucking life, and it brought me nothing but misery.  _

This isn’t what Kuroro would have wanted, and he knew that. But Kurapika wasn’t in the mood to pay any mind to Kuroro and his fucking wishes.

“I’m so furious at you,” he murmured, “you had no right at all to do this,” he felt how the first tear finally left one of his eyes, rolling down his cheek and past his chin into the snow-covered floor. “If you think this would be your fucking redemption I have to tell you you couldn’t be more mistaken,” he lifted his head to face the tombstone. “I don’t forgive you,” he said, raising his voice. That turned out to be a bad idea, and his voice immediately broke. Despite that, his tone kept getting louder, “I don’t forgive you for any of it”.

The tears were now freely falling down his face, ceaseless. It had been over half a year now, and his pain hadn’t eased the tiniest bit. Kuroro might have succeeded in removing the nen conditions he had established, going so far as to restore his lifespan, but he had killed him years ago, along with his clan. And, as if that hadn’t been enough, he had dealt the final blow six months ago, when he decided to die on him. What they had managed to built had taken them several murder attempts, betrayals, the death of the Spider, and the retrieval of the Scarlet Eyes. They both had lost so much, often at the hand of the other, and when all that resentment and hatred and ire manifested into physicality, Kurapika had tried not to dwell on it too much. After all, things weren’t going to change just because they fucked occasionally in deserted corners of the Black Whale. They eventually managed a wordless truce, seeing that the both of them had bigger troubles to care about at that moment.  _ It’s temporary _ , Kurapika would say to himself, once I retrieve the remaining eyes,  _ I’ll be able to focus on hunting the Troupe down once again _ . But Hisoka had been quicker. And so, long before Kurapika even got close to fulfilling his quest, the Spider was gone. And so was the man he had once hated. 

It was really difficult to pinpoint the exact moment in which everything changed between them. All he knew was that, at some point, something very sweet started to blossom. He had tried to fight it, he really had, but it turned out to be futile: somehow, amongst the violence and their clandestine encounters and the sea breeze and the salty air, he fell in love. And, may God forgive him, it had been  _ good _ . He was past caring now, and he could admit to himself that he had found happiness at Kuroro’s side. Of course, that had only served to make his death even more unbearable.

He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around himself, trying to compose his breathing. It would not stop  _ hurting _ . “Why did you do it? Why did you leave me?” It was all too much: the cold that he could now feel deep within his bones, the contrasting burning ache inside his chest, the freezing wind against his wet face. 

“You should’ve known better than anyone that I couldn’t do this all over again,” he said, lowering his voice so that what came out of his mouth was barely more than a breathy sentence once again, “this was just an overkill, wouldn’t you say?” he added, bitterness lacing his voice. All he wanted at the moment was to be held by strong, reliable arms around him, to smell the familiar and just a tad too strong cologne, to feel rough, hardened hands at the sides of his face as soft, saccharine lips sought his. 

“Damn you, Lucilfer,” he whispered directly to the tombstone, “you really had to take everything away from me, didn’t you?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am once again posting a terrible chapter at 4 am. this is fr terrible & it doesn't deserve such a pretty title. i am genuinely sorry but i can't dwell on it any longer if i want to post it this month. i might take the premise and work on an actual fic later on bc i actually really like the idea that i was going for, but the execution was really fucking terrible, but for now this is all i have.   
> still, if u read this i am very thankful.


	9. With you shining in my mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> day ix. decorating

Kuroro’s childhood hadn’t been one that allowed him to care about anything other than survival -much less to enjoy something like Christmas-, but even so, he had grown really fond of the holiday in his adulthood. Ever since he started earning a little money, he made a conscious effort to at least put up a couple of light sets wherever he was living, no matter how shitty. He didn’t know why, but it had turned out to be a very soothing time for him.

He still remembered how he had scarcely decorated his first tiny apartment. The set of cheap lights had ended up short-circuiting and he nearly fucked up his entire electrical system, and the sad excuses of decorations he had managed to acquire were very far from aesthetically pleasing. A tree had been completely out of the question. Even then. it had felt hopeful, somehow. It was the first step towards his new life.

That felt like a completely different life. He had come a long fucking way since.

This was his train of thought as he watched his boyfriend climb a ladder so he could crown their Christmas tree with the biggest star he had found at the store. As pretty as their tree was -thanks to Kurapika, of course- it paled next to the man struggling to adjust the star.

It was their first Christmas living together, and Kuroro wanted everything to be perfect. They had taken advantage of the long weekend to decorate the apartment. Well, in all honesty, Kuroro had had to bribe one of his colleagues to take care of his samples for two days in order to get the entire weekend off, but it was worth it. How could it not be, when Kurapika was wearing a festive sweater, and had forced him to wear a ridiculous santa hat, and had been laughing the entire morning, and the glint in his eyes would not disappear?

Things with Kurapika had always been so easy that it made him believe in the existence of soulmates. This year had marked their second anniversary, which is when they had decided to give it a shot at living together. Kurapika was always at Kuroro’s place either way.

“Are you gonna stay there staring at my ass or are you gonna help me make this thing stay still?” Kurapika’s teasing voice brought him out of his thoughts. Kuroro laughed at the crassness of his request. As sweet and tender as Kurapika was, he was equally blunt and sarcastic and he often lacked any sense of tact. 

It was alright, though. Kuroro wouldn’t have it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! this one's way wayyyy too short but There Was An Attempt. i really did bit more than i could chew with this little challenge of mine and now i don't think i'll be able to finish it on time... but i'll still fulfill as many prompts as i can.   
> in case it wasn't clear, this is supposed to be a modern day au, and this wasn't outright mentioned but kuroro's a grad student & pika's an undergrad.   
> ah also, the title comes from a LOONA song called star. check it out, it's amazing!  
> thanks for reading, & see u tomorrow <3


	10. of snowstorms & fireplaces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> day x. snowed in

The logs burned pleasantly inside the chimney, filling the cabin with a very much appreciated warmth. Curled up on a sofa in front of the chimney there were two people, seeking the comfort that the fire provided. Both of them were immersed in a book of their own, occasionally planting kisses on the other’s body, be it on the head, arms, hands, whatever part was the most convenient to kiss at that particular moment. 

Finally, Kurapika raised his eyes towards the big windows that covered the living room’s walls. “The snow hasn’t stopped,” he stated.

At this, Kuroro lifted his head as well. When his eyes confirmed what the younger man had said, he sighed, “remind me to never trust the weather apps again”.

Kurapika chuckled. “Ah, Kuroro Lucilfer and his eternal beef with technology” he teased, “I bet you just couldn’t read the actual data, baby,” he light-heartedly said, brushing Kuroro’s bangs away from his face. 

Kuroro frowned, “im gonna pretend I’m not hurt by that, love.” Kurapika just smiled sheepishly at the response. Kuroro wished he could pinpoint the exact moment in which that smile became all that was required to short-circuit his brain. The blond man had truly been his ruin, but surrender had never tasted sweeter.

“I’ll give you credit for having this backup plan though,” Kurapika’s voice brought Kuroro back to reality, and the blond man raised his hand to caress his boyfriend’s soft raven locks. 

Kuroro puffed, “I wouldn’t call this a backup plan at all,” he lamented, “we’re stuck inside when the entire purpose of this trip was to explore the mountains,” he gave Kurapika an apologetic look.

Kurapika knew this was true. Kuroro had planned this trip for months. He had carefully researched about the best winter spots in the country, and the place he had ended up choosing was amongst the top 20 resorts of this year. Kurapika had cheated a little and ended up looking for pictures of the mountains adjacent to the resort, and it was a true spectacle. He was sure this little getaway had cost Kuroro a fortune.

Even so, Kurapika’s spirits could not be knocked down, so he only shook his head, his expression softening, moving his hand from his hair to his face, caressing his cheekbones. “Nonsense. we came here to spend the holidays together, and that’s exactly what we’re doing,” 

Throughout the years, Kurapika had found that Kuroro had a habit of spoiling him rotten. He’d always organize these expensive trips for special dates, and shower him with gifts of all kinds, ranging from your typical flower arrangements to very, very, extravagant stuff (Kurapika would never forget the time he tried to gift him a fucking penthouse two months into dating). 

The blonde understood that, due to Kuroro’s upbringing, being able to demonstrate his affection via material stuff was a big deal to him, since he was never afforded that kind of privilege as a kid. However, Kurapika needed to make him understand that, if things didn't go exactly as planned , it didn’t mean the entire experience had gone to waste.

“Listen to me. We’re here, together, and we’re gonna spend Christmas in this beautiful cabin, away from everyone else and secluded from civilization just the way you like it, enjoying this view,” Kuroro opened his mouth to protest, but the younger man held a finger up to his lips as a warning, “and we have everything we need to last until the storm finally abates,” he gave the raven-haired man the most radiant smile. “It would be an entirely different story if we were stuck outside freezing our asses off in the middle of a cataclysm and we’d eventually have to eat our toes to survive” he joked, lighthearted, “but that’s not the case. So let’s just enjoy the holidays, alright?” he leaned in to softly peck his boyfriend’s lips.

Although Kuroro seemed far from convinced, he slowly nodded. “You’re right,” he agreed, but before Kurapika could say something, he added “I just think that being stuck inside is gonna be awfully dull,” Kuroro stated, voice laced with guilt.

The blond man raised an eyebrow. He took Kuroro’s book from his lap, setting it on the table alongside his own.

“Oh?” he said, leaning in dangerously close to the other man. Kuroro’s eyes immediately traveled to Kurapika’s mouth, “is that so?” He challenged, his voice dropping to a whisper. 

He maneuvered their bodies so he could sit atop his boyfriend’s lap. “If only we had some form of unlimited entertainment here” he whispered, grinding his hips against Kuroro’s, lips a breath away from the other man’s. 

His boyfriend took a sharp intake of air, settling his hands on the blond’s waist. “You've made your point”, he murmured, moving his hands to the other man’s buttocks, pulling him towards himself to close the distance between them, and before Kurapika could wear a victory smile, Kuroro’s lips were upon his, stealing his breath away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! once again ty for being here & reading this & see u all tomorrow w/ more chistmas shenanigans :D

**Author's Note:**

> I know this straight up sucks & I hate it and trust me, I am very very sorry; before I knew it it was december 1st already & this was barely 100 words long so yeah we ended up with this tragedy of a one-shot, I promise the following one-shots are better (or at least I think so lol), also, ik this prompt screamed smut but I'm still too scared to write that lmaooo  
> either way, if you read this, thank you so much & see you tomorrow!   
> ALSO!! the title was stolen from Naughty by Irene & Seulgi, go stream asap if u don't know them they're great


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